Disintegration

Isn't there an expression: No news is good news? I guess I get lulled into thinking that when I don't get news about Pedro for a while. Actually, I've just assumed that since he hasn't been living at my parents' house for the past 6 months, things can't be too bad. In my conversation with Mom last night, I realized that might not be the case anymore. Granted, Mom and I are similar in always fearing the worst, but truly, just the details I know sound rather grim.

So, here's a summary of what I know of this kid now: he's gained a lot of weight at the Children's Home b/c his eating is not restricted; he was caught shoplifting two bracelets a few weeks ago and refuses to talk to my parents about it; he "bought" an iPhone from one of the kids in his house, but tried to say Cely gave it to him (b/c of course 10 year olds are able to get iPhones); he choked a kid in the Children's Home a couple of weeks ago b/c the kid talked about him with someone else; he has told my parents that he isn't coming back to their house, but tells other kids that they kicked him and didn't want him anymore; and most recently, his counselor told my parents that he doesn't want any more contact with them at all. In fact, it sounds like he told his counselor that Mom and Dad did all kinds of terrible things to him while he lived there.

My mom was pretty sure any court of law would believe him over the hundreds of people who could be character witnesses for her and my dad should that be necessary. I tried to tell her that surely that couldn't be true; surely no one with any sense would ever think my mom and dad could hurt a kid, even though this particular kid has caused little but pain since they've known him. They are the gentlest, holiest people I've ever known. Maybe I just say that because they're my parents, but I truly believe, after spending time with many other families, that my parents are about as committed to love as a couple can be. It does make me wonder at the purpose for Pedro's presence in my parents' lives. They prayed for 1 1/2 years for the right kids to come their way to adopt, and Pedro and Cely were brought in their lives. And while I think they have some hope with Cely, Pedro has brought nothing but a steady slam of hurt. On the one hand, I know that he no doubt has been through far too much, but my parents were very misled as to the nature of this kid's problems. They didn't even know that he had been adopted previously!

I do believe in adoption, but I'm very concerned about how CPS handled this one. To the bottom of my heart, I believe kids deserve to be loved and cared for and to have a family who provides that, but what if there are cases where the kid is just too damaged? I think we have found one. I don't wish ill to Pedro, but damn it, if a court truly believes him over my parents should it come to that, there is something seriously wrong in our world.