For one my mom and dad and Cely have come to OH rather than the other way around this summer. It's really great to have them here; it makes me wonder how I will deal with it when they leave. I hate the emptiness that occurs when guests leave. But we still have a few days together. I'm rambling and not meaning to. What I'm actually trying to get at is that today was my parents' big day, and rather than getting to spend the whole day with them and celebrating, Cely and I spent the day with each other. Mom and Dad took a little trip for themselves. It was the first time I've ever spent so much time with just Cely. She can be so quiet and share so little that it's hard to hold a conversation with her, yet she can also be so sweet and lovable. We played games like Battleship and Connect Four together. I took her to see Toy Story 3, which was in 3-D. I didn't know I'd have to pay for 3-D, but her pleasure in watching the movie that way did make it more bearable to shell out the extra dollars.
We also went swimming at the condo's community pool. Of course the regular tanning women were there. Some of them remind me of toasted pita chips they are so thoroughly baked. Personally, I don't find that much tan attractive, but then it's not my call. Anyway, there's this one well-baked woman with nice abs who seems to have three or four daughters who frequent the pool side with her. After I left Cely to play in the pool a little more by herself, the youngest of the those other girls, I think her name is Ella, invited Cely to play tag in the pool. Hearing that strident, pushy voice boss my little sister around made me feel both protective and concerned. Cely, I think, was glad to have someone to play with, but this little girl obviously liked to do things her way and her way only. Cely just kind of went along with it, and I attempted to intervene a little--in as pleasant a way as I know how.
Eventually, another sister joined the game and seemed to balance things out a little. I think Cely liked playing with that other girl better. And finally I called Cely from the pool so that we could get ready to go see our movie.
I guess what struck me was wondering how on earth anyone ever survives parenting. Cely isn't my daughter, adopted or by birth, but my age and hers makes me feel very parental towards her. Watching that little girl boss Cely around made me so angry and then disgusted. I can't help but wonder how any parent can get through the worry about how other kids will treat yours. I love Cely, but I can't make others love her. I can't protect her from the hideous pains that the world can strike her with. And so I only marvel that so many people seem able to function with the fear that must be inside at times.
